017

You were never real
all the alcohol goes down and comes up
you sipped and put the frame on me
just a few, just me and you,

Carbonated scorn, you bubble up and go
sober on the road, you go
sober on the road, I don’t know

better keep steady, better watch the lines
keep another sip in the back,
keep your eyes from the sidelines

hold ’em open to the headlights
but you can sleep that way
looking ahead, staring
nothingness, say you can bear it

Spill on the pavement but
not your drink,
scrape your knees, bless
not another pour, I guess
gonna finish this, take it down

catch a wink, won’t you?
take me down to the bottom
rock bottom,
because you run on empty
I can’t live
not with you, not without you

013

glad for my irrelevance
every shade of blue feels like drowning
and I can see you kicking in
see the oxygen giving in

and I palm the current as you’re sinking in
feel the burden of your shrivelled skin

find the cold spot
I could give in
find the cold spot
prickling

my god,
a stasis in your particles
a faultline for this blame of mine
go, don’t go, just go
go, don’t go

just go

009

You made me funny

I made you broken

we came together in a war

set between me and I,

 

couldn’t see what you saw

chasing the novelty of a wreckage

you thought you’d hit the bumper

and watch me go,

I thought you’d heed the thunder

and just let me go

 
I could flood the cities like a hurricane

didn’t you know,

I’d sink my teeth in, in a heartbeat

take you down like a rogue wave

 
You made me think

but I made you sad

the resignation in creases that don’t go away

the recognition I don’t grow,

not into these capsules,

never be easy to take

 

You tried to make me free

wrapped in my vines, can’t breathe,

halfway up to the canopy,

 

you lost the war between me and I,

took down my armies

just to die at the door

you fought the war between me and I,

just to fall down on the floor

 

you made me funny

and I made you broken.

008

You could have been safe with me

hand to the gearshift, holding me

 

You could have been kind to me

playing old songs just to bleed me

no such thing as running on empty

 

You could have been just for me

Soaked by the blood in my heart

but you hold a quarantine so well

just another one you keep from afar

 

You could have been right for me

If you’d just stop being so wrong

Could have spent days in that car

Head in your lap,

 

You could have taken me anywhere

And I would be pacified without a where

 

Could have just kept me

But you wrote my goodbye and made me leave

 

Could have let me go

But you spun wheels to my door–

changed your mind

 

Could have stayed home

But you asked me to run away with you

I could have gone,

except–

there was no love left

We could have gone, but

you’d take me, and I’d go alone.