008

You could have been safe with me

hand to the gearshift, holding me

 

You could have been kind to me

playing old songs just to bleed me

no such thing as running on empty

 

You could have been just for me

Soaked by the blood in my heart

but you hold a quarantine so well

just another one you keep from afar

 

You could have been right for me

If you’d just stop being so wrong

Could have spent days in that car

Head in your lap,

 

You could have taken me anywhere

And I would be pacified without a where

 

Could have just kept me

But you wrote my goodbye and made me leave

 

Could have let me go

But you spun wheels to my door–

changed your mind

 

Could have stayed home

But you asked me to run away with you

I could have gone,

except–

there was no love left

We could have gone, but

you’d take me, and I’d go alone.

007

so you thought you’d seen my skin

thinking that there was a way in,

like I was something you could break in.

couldn’t find the seams

because there were none left

you think you talk me off ledges

but I’m ready to ace the landing

I am the ridges you cut your fingers on

trying to stroke my edges smooth

just to give you the stains of a martyr

like you were doing the world a favour

you touch mirrors to marvel at the

condensation of your hands,

blessing yourself for a warmth

that won’t reach your eyes

this is your vision of rescue,

the lover, reaching the unreachable,

but your ladders have no steps

and I’m prepared to burn.


this is what it means to be

a fracture, you’re gracious to love me,

to cultivate a world that thinks I’m lucky

to let me know, thinking I won’t go,

that nobody else could love me.


I am scar tissue pulled tight

a skeleton twisted in white,

Even in your firestorm,

I’m the only one to keep me warm.