2008

I miss airports with you
wearing the wrong shoes
like we never had a clue, no

I miss saying I would switch seats
just so you’d say no, stay
and I’d still be incomplete

the moment before tired,
you were coffee wired then
waiting to say when

but leaving couldn’t change a thing
we lived in the binds of a fling
feet fatigued carpet way of life

wheels down, it was just fine
we were out of the intertwine
back to waiting in lines

back of your coat in front of me
cabin air throat,
I loved you most.

3×2

take the meaning out
be the fox that snares a bird
already so tired of that
magic tricks went flat

our blistered love
always saying too much
reeling in the line to bait you
i’m done with that
blood on fingers I cant
take it back

caustic in a shoulder touch
the things you say you see in me
a lighthouse clear that disappears
kindness like an unloaded weapon now
my hands are up and yours are down

swallow dirt to hide my face
dressed up for my just desserts
keep the traps on both sides of the fence
already so tired of that

fox

What is it like for you
so far away
i hope you’re softer
let me believe a little

i looked you up
two years later
little bit of a stranger
I see your life
a thousand miles from mine

when i lay back down
you meet me in dreams
even when i’m mad
you always come back

a respite from being me
pre-filling the shell of me
you were pulling the death from me
don’t know why
I had to win it

a flare with no pilot light
a fox prepared to fight
a red piece of dynamite
she takes me by surprise

never run,
you need to be right
I see your ambition and raise you one
i hope that you’re softer
just to bleed a little
i hope you’re not lost there
a fox prepared to fight,
stay safe in the night

moodphases

I need to move but I cant
Narrate my scenes before
Getting to the stand

knots in my hair and
nails split, I can’t do it
I can’t do a thing

you say you love me but
you can’t mean it

too torn up to elevate a lie
try to warm you
there is no fire

hey, how’re you doing?
did you have fun?
jokes on you,
looks like its done

please don’t leave me
but i know you could leave me now
air out the bedsheets
knock me down

when i get lower, I’ll have to
touch the ground

tried to tell you
to try and believe in me
you tell your friends you need me

now I’m too tired
to defend me
broken up about a man
who wouldn’t protect me

I need to move but I cant
narrate my scenes in
retrospect

did you have fun?

beachside

coffee mixed with cream skin
washed off the taste of cigarettes
freckles against white sheets
be here beside me

don’t need to convince me,
you’ve already pulled us in,
I don’t need to see me
when I can see you

as long as you’ll keep me
cradled by oceans
I’ll be in the crease of your lips
I’ll never be broken

xox

Are we in currents together
or am I your riptide?
Do we take space up together
or are our hands just tied?
When promises start to break
can you love me anyway?
Am I the one keeping you cold
or am I the one you want to hold?
Are we running from seam splitters
and falling apart,
or embroidered together
intermingling our hearts?

the lion

i don’t always feel like talking
but i keep talking
twist my tongue against
unreciprocating ears
but i’ll tell you, i’ll tell you, i’ll tell you
how i’m naive and free

swallow hard on your reactions
muscles lock and release
juggling postures and presence
facing the door
you’re going to leave me, i know

it doesn’t unwind my my spine
my posturing so you know the me
i want you to know
talking to tell you, so you know,
i’m fine, it’s all fine, we’re just fine

posture of a lion with a lingering bark
but no bite, just trying to rewrite this
mind me, please, i’m harmless
just want to disarm this
ticking in my head
ticking in my head

catch words by the metronome
cant even hear myself talk, no,
turn off the sound to talk down the excess
know, i’m just delivering what i know
know i’m chasing electricity

caricature in me
i don’t always feel like talking
but i twist my tongue against
my own fears

xx0

got me, involuntary muscle contractions
see the kicks and the twitch in my lips
bet you can read where i’m coming from
decide to watch me become undone

but the flicks in these currents
the tremourless moments
kicks in my stomach and tight lips containing
I’m a mystery beat can’t be on my feet
but you’re turning away, yeah,
you’re turning away

my evidence isn’t needed,
hands up to my breathing
waiting for movements
when I cant get through it

feeling the switching,
these organic transitions
but we fell from different trees
so i taste salt in the breeze
while you rest beside me

got me, these chest pains
wait for the moments to ache and I stay
heart chasing this, bracing this
my circuits cant take this
just kicking myself and closing my mouth
just hear me out

if the muscle doesn’t kick
where is this coming from?
if it doesn’t kick,
why am I like this?

i cant stay in my lane anymore
i tried everything you wanted
you’re turning away,
cant take me anymore, we cant,
cant outrun these currents anymore

Y

Super rough. Been a while.

——————————————-

I check your name against the news

back in our hometown,

still saturated in bruises,

I beg my heart to slow down

slow down, please

 

 

Might find you at the grocery store

when they broadcast our songs

no car on the highway anymore

choking down the playlist, not gone

still take the floor from under me

 

Think of your car in the backyard,

The thin line of fence,

Think of you in footsteps, I always turn,

streets seem safer with strangers now,

like going inside wouldn’t be too late

 

I was warming my hands on your chest, but

now I’m locking my windows and shutting my blinds

staring at the places you used to sit

like you’d be there if I let myself blink

 

you’d buy me drinks to make me weak

erase my body and pretend to sleep

cant reconcile the memories,

cant reconcile you next to me

 

I check your name against the news

back in our hometown

still resting on the edge of a blade

still dreaming that I’ll find you there,

knowing that I’ll find you there.

x

Radio ad segments
Sincere like your sentiments
Always call the better man
New station, cant stand it
A jingle for my thoughts,
I’ll shut it off

Dialing into static dust
Half attention, look away
Hear nothing you’ve come to say
Check out until you go away
Someone else is gonna stay

Riff in like nothing new
Too familiar, you’re pushing through
Praised are the classic ones
All it takes is to play too much

Too late to read the signs
Yellow on the dotted line
Some things are always mine
Crescendo of a big mistake
You’re posturing, just taking space.